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Hindrance

Unfamiliar desperation
Pride and knees hit the floor
Declining in preparation
Have I any more to give?
All of me descends
All but my beseeching eyes
Eyes that crave ignorance
To not see the truth before them
I pour out what is left
Threads of my soul
Bared again before you
You watch as it fades
It was sturdy once, I think
A time long ago
Before my souls’ demise
The consequence of your indifference

I’m growing tired
Much too tired to replenish
Yet still, I pour
The threads leave me
I’m draining dry
I watch as they depart like feathers stolen by the wind
I’m helpless to this theft
How long till I deplete indefinitely
Growing tired, still
Yet, I proceed to pour
I am immobilized
A slave to what’s elusive
Crippling exhaustion grows
At what point do I give in

I crave the relief of my own acceptance
Maybe then I’d rest
Beseeching eyes now forward
Growing heavy
And alas- I loosen my grip
On the cusp of relief now
Slowly drifting to a rapid fall
Much like the feathers of my soul
The wind abducts me
Alongside this crippling desire
For you to mend my heart
To save me from my suffering
How liberating it feels
As I shed this burden to the wind
The longing subsides
For what you hold captive
And dangle before me
Drenching me in ridicule
Drowning me in contradictions

How you declare with a promise
Then deprive me with ease I’m
nearly free
The ground fades, as do you
Too far now to see
The sight of you lost
And I finally close my eyes
Suddenly, I stir
I search in terror
Where are you
Reaching out, I tighten my grasp
Eyes up once again
To fix on you
You and your indifference
Familiar desperation

Jessica Wheeler

Avatar photoJessica Wheeler is an accomplished writer residing in Branford, Connecticut. Her creative passion began at a young age, with a history of writing music and lyrics, as well as singing vocals. Previously having worked in the medical field, Jessica changed course to raise her children while dealing with overwhelming grief and PTSD acquired after losing multiple loved ones in a short span of time. Returning to writing was a comforting outlet for Jessica, and she has become a top-rated poet and author on FanStory.com. Her writing often explores themes of loss, grief, and resilience in the face of life's challenges.

One comment on “Hindrance

  • Francine
    May 4, 2022 | 1:41 am

    Absolutely beautiful

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