We danced
when we thought you would live.

We were tourists
among the ghosts in Old Town Albuquerque

walking past the crowds past the Navajo code talkers past the past.
Toward a song of streets a quinceañera?
a block party?

Amplified music. Dehydrated Air.
The night before my niece’s wedding.

When we thought you would live we danced.

33 then 34 then 35 radiation treatments mouth sores, coughed-up blood stomach tube, skin the trunk of an oak morphine and then more
more
more more
morphine

you were so brave, my love

Standing, swaying, singing with the band.
Even holding onto your walker, you led me across the floor.

We danced
when we thought you would live.

I picked a flower and twisted it into a curl of my hair. I
picked you, a jewel of a man.
I let you pick me. Together, we danced.

 

Vanessa Irene Poster

Avatar photoVanessa Poster, a member of the Los Angeles Poets and Writer’s Collective, has studied Method Writing with Jack Grapes for more than 20 years and has been teaching creative writing since March 2017. Her work has appeared in The Thieving Magpie, ONTHEBUS, I’ll have Wednesday and Went To Ralphs To Get A Chicken. She is a writing coach and runs a workshop called, “The Write Way: Using the Written Word to Heal Grief.” She is a graduate of Stanford University with a Bachelors in Humanities and a Masters in Modern Thought and Literature. She was widowed in 2015 and her poems explore themes of grief, love and gratitude.

2 Responses

  1. This is so lovely and touching. It brought me to tears. I lost my husband of 44 years, 2 years ago. It has been and still is, such a struggle.

  2. Thank you so much! I’m sorry for your loss… My contact info is above if you are interested in writing classes with others who share your experiences. It’s a supportive way to express feelings, similar to, but very different from a support group as we access our connection through creativity as well as loss.

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