My Father’s Hope Chest

When I was a child, my father had
an old cigar box full of things that were
meaningful to him: a broken rosary
made of cherry wood, a swiss army knife,
an old silver cap from one of his teeth,
and two baby food jars full of metal war
pennies, rusted green with age. He was
born when resources were rationed,
when pretty ladies drew lines up their calves
in eyeliner pencil, and copper was reserved
for artillery. Because such details intrigue me
—just what will survive us to define us—
I keep an invisible box of memories
to draw upon. For my father, I have
the sound of his heartbreak the day
his father died. A deep moan like one
the earth must make when the ground splits
open, releasing air from its lava center
like an ancient sigh. For six months
after grandpa’s death, my father smoked
his father’s pipe, and he laughed
when I asked why he smoked it,
saying he didn’t really know. Even if
smoking was part of what killed his father,
my father had to know what it was
he was saying goodbye to,
if not to whom. –My Dad’s
words were a mystery to me then
but I understand them now
that he is gone, just as I share
the heartbreak of his tears
at the loss of his father.

 

14 Responses

  1. What a beautiful and touching story. I too lost my father and have my box of memories. Thank you for sharing this story with me and the world.

  2. That is so incredibly beautiful and made me cry! What a touching tribute to such an amazing man!! Dad is beaming with pride

  3. Beautiful tribute to Dad! What resonates with me is the statement “…just what will survive us to define us” and in Dad’s case it’s his silly sense of humor, his unconditional love for and acceptance of all of us, and his loyalty to family. Beautiful tribute to a well loved and sorely missed man. Brava, Rita, Brava!

  4. A sweet memory of your dad as he relived childhood memories upon the loss of his dad. May your memory of his laughter as he smoked the pipe chase away your tears.

  5. Beautifully written. I can see Dad doing exactly what you wrote. He is terribly missed every day

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